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Joke of the Day

"Which teachers make pupils feel good about themselves? Maths teachers, they make everybody count."

"The New York Post publishes rumours about Dwayne Johnson. He sues for defamation and wins. Rock beats paper. And the crowd goes wild."

"The barber in my neighborhood just got arrested for selling drugs. I've been a customer of his for 4 years, and I never knew he was a barber."

"People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply......Chuck Norris"

"cheap toilet paper. it isn't worth shit."

"At first, I didn't like my haircut. But then it grew on me."

"Wife: that's never going to work Husband: you're so negative, Sandra W: you're planting bird seeds H: LET ME GROW MY BIRDS, WOMAN"

"A Jew with an erection walks face first into a wall... He breaks his nose."

"They say snapple is made from the best stuff on earth... But that's bullshit; I looked at the ingredients, I didn't see pussy or beer anywhere."

"*walks into bank* THIS IS A ROBBERY *people drop to the floor* JUST KIDDING, BUT NOW THAT YOU'RE LISTENING *lowers guns* A TOMATO IS A FRUIT"