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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a call center job and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four."

"What are the three rules of being a plumber? Hot on left; cold on right. Shit runs downhill. Never, ever, put your tools in your mouth."

"My friend just told me a deep, dark secret... When he was younger, his father used to verbally abuse him, then proceed to lock him in the freezer. Jeez, that's cold."

"Why did Hitler invade Hungary? Because he can't resist a HungAryan :)"

"Why did the blond not come out of the shower? Because the bottle said to lather, rinse, and repeat."

"I like my black people like I like my coffee I don't like coffee."

"You've gotta be careful talking to Steve Jobs because he'll say the word 'eyeballs' and really be referring to his custom-made Apple gonads."

"These Black and Mexican jokes have gone too far Once you know Juan, you know Jamal."

"Dear Diary: Day 41 at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry. So far none of the other students have noticed that my wand is a Slim Jim."

"You know what's really odd? Numbers not divisible by 2."