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Joke of the Day
"I like my black people like I like my coffee I don't like coffee."
Next Joke
"WIFE: The 2 things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie. HUSBAND: Which is this?"
"Role playing in the bedroom was fun until my wife gave me a speeding ticket."
"[a girl favs my tweet] [goes to pharmacy] one condom please"
"Remember when dresses were slightly longer but still cute, and when I bent over my gender didn't show? I want those back."
"What's the difference between a bluebird and a elephant? They both have wings, except for the elephant."
"I got good news and bad news The bad news is there's no good news. The good news is... well I just told you. OR The good news is there's no bad news. The bad news is... well I just told you."
"What's the difference between oooo and aaaa? about 3 inches"
"Donald Trump's chief speechwriter is a random deck from Cards Against Humanity."
"i'm happy when life hands me lemons. can't do shots of tequila with artichokes."