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Joke of the Day

"My friend just told me a deep, dark secret... When he was younger, his father used to verbally abuse him, then proceed to lock him in the freezer. Jeez, that's cold."

"My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs.. I've been his customer for 6 years. I had no idea he was a barber"

"What do you use to clear the air of stupid? A HERPA filter"

"Don't ever try taking off a penguin's little tuxedo. All that's under there is a dead penguin."

"Sarcasm so good, they think you're being nice."

"I didn't know you could get paid for donating sperm. When I think of all the money I've let slip through my fingers..."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? Zero."

"i want to take one of those cruises where people shit right there on the boat but apparently they only happen randomly as a surpris,e"

"Well quit blocking my knife if you don't like being stabbed in the hands."

"How can U make a difference? Good Mourning! *(this pun is baaad and I feel terrible about it)*"