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Joke of the Day

"These cats just swagged into the room like they had some serious yolo'ing to do."

"I have only two requests for when I die. #1. I want my remains scattered around Wrigley Field. \#2. I don't want to be cremated first."

"What's the difference between a German and a Virgin? one one appreciates good head"

"Getting my dad some strong aftershave and a cigarette lighter for Christmas. Can't wait to see his face light up."

"you know the joke of the pearldiver? blub blub gone he is"

"I was offered sex today... with a 21 year old and all I had to do was re-post a joke. I, of course, declined."

"What do you call a Mexican who's car got stolen? Carlos."

"An old lady next to me on the airplane was scared by me being a muslim I laughed so hard my grenades almost fell out of my pocket."

"I was walking through the mall... I was walking through the mall, when I noticed this mannequin giving me a filthy look. I went over and decked the cunt and said ""Fucking poser"""

"If you smoke weed and masturbate... ... is it called weed whacking?"