114409

Joke of the Day

"An old lady next to me on the airplane was scared by me being a muslim I laughed so hard my grenades almost fell out of my pocket."

"Heard they weren't celebrating Christmas at the University of Alabama... Couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."

"What is the difference between oral and anal thermometers? the taste."

"How do cats park their cars? They *purr*allel park"

"What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves. Nah, I'm just kidding. He hasn't opened it yet."

"It's difficult to say what my wife does for a living. She sells seashells down by the seashore."

"Dear lord, I thank you for these noodles I am about to eat. Ramen."

"I like my women like I like my whiskey At least 18 years old and mixed up with coke"

"How many defensive coordinators does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. You can't fit a hairless ten-year-old inside a light bulb."

"Why did the melon insist on having a big wedding? Because it cantaloupe."