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Joke of the Day

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her."

"If everything is going your way You're in the wrong lane"

"""What's this ticket, officer?"" - Loitering ""I didn't drop trash"" - No. Loitering. ""You talk funny"" - It's not- ""I'm putting this on Twoiter"""

"Why did no one believe the Psychologist ever went to the bathroom? Because the 'P' is silent"

"I try to live each day like it's my last, which is why I rarely have clean socks. Who wants to wash socks on the last day of their life?"

"Judge gave man 60 yrs in Craigslist rape case & affirmed it's NOT ok to contact him with services or other commercial interests."

"A woman in a store was complaining vehemently about her bathroom fan. I guess she really needed to vent."

"My body is a temple... And it's devoted to Dionysus. Cheers."

"Me: Can I buy that chandelier? Store guy: Of course. Are you putting it up yourself? Me: No, I'm hanging it from the ceiling."

"*amateur magician does tablecloth-pulling trick, knocking everything over* Cat in audience: Oh, this guy's good"