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Joke of the Day

"*amateur magician does tablecloth-pulling trick, knocking everything over* Cat in audience: Oh, this guy's good"

"(interview for construction job) Foreman: Your resume is just pictures of LEGOs? Me: (proudly) Didn't even have to look at the instructions"

"What is Harrison Ford called when he smokes weed? Han So-high."

"Why do black people have red eyes after sexual intercourse? Because of the pepper spray."

"What's a pedophiles favorite piece of classical music? Symphony in A Minor"

"Lawyer Joke You know it was a cold day in Washington when you see lawyers walking around with their hands in their own pockets."

"Your sign says ""NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE"", so it seems highly unfair that you kicked me out for not wearing pants."

"Mom: you failed your english test, didn't you? Me: who telled you?"

"Shot pool with my 15yo son. Taught him a valuable lesson. You can restart a video game 1000 times. You can only lose your allowance once."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Candace ! Candace who ? Candace with love !"