107289

Joke of the Day

"Totally thought I was on the phone with my mom for an hour today. Was Daniel Day Lewis the whole time. Damn he's good."

"Eli5 What is it like being six."

"Why is it customary to drink 8 mojitos a day in Cuba? It's the Hemming way."

"You can never trust the cat family..... The head of the family is always a lion, and his cousin is a cheetah. (Lying and cheater, for those whom need this explained)."

"What car does Jesus drive? A Christler"

"What kind of cheese do you use to entice a bear? Camembert!"

"he died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish"

"I like to paint pictures of WW2 bombers onto the sides of beautiful women."

"Squirrel sex What did the squirrel say after fucking an acorn? Best nut of my life"

"Rob a bank with a Nokia How would you rob a bank with a nokia? Walk in hold up a nokia, Robber: Get the fuck down i gotta nokia Lady: Holy shit hes got a nokia AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Something like that"