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Joke of the Day

"Rob a bank with a Nokia How would you rob a bank with a nokia? Walk in hold up a nokia, Robber: Get the fuck down i gotta nokia Lady: Holy shit hes got a nokia AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Something like that"

"A simple smile can brighten someone's day... ...but a wide-eyed, toothy lunatic smile can keep them up all night."

"[Job Interview] ""It says here under skills, that you can eat rice?"" *Eats rice with chop sticks* ""Holy shit! When can you start?!"""

"Women's logic: I went to buy a suit. But i saw a beautiful pair of shoes. So i bought this handbag."

"What do you get when you cross pokemon and digimon?! A poke-mon!"

"What did the slutty girl buy at the furniture store? One nightstand."

"What's the best time to go to a dentist? Two thirty"

"I recently got a device that can remotely slow down any car And as an added bonus it shows me what speed they're going at too!"

"Dear God, I asked about atheism today."

"So Jesus walks into a hotel... he puts three nails on the counter and says, ""Hey, can you put me up for the night?"""