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Joke of the Day

"Standing behind a lady at Home Depot. Heard her ask for suggestions for tools to buy her grandson who was studying to be a quantum mechanic."

"How did Sherlock reply to Watson's inquiry, ""Sherlock, where did you get all of these lemons?"" ""A lemon tree, my dear Watson."""

"I like my women like I like my joke formats: worn out from overuse."

"Bikini season is right around the corner...But so is Chipotle"

"If you feel trapped in your body with no way out, just think about that guy in the middle of a conga line."

"Tower: Lufthansa 893 you're number one check for workers on the taxiway. Pilot: Roger ..... We've checked they're all working."

"What is the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You stop milking a cow after 10 years."

"""haha this costume party is great"" ""sir PLEASE get off the table"" ""cool librarian costume"" *sprays silly string* ""hey dude nice police costu"

"Why did the researcher take his paper to the harbour? To get it pier reviewed."

"Dear Internet, Once and for all, I agree to ALL ""the terms and conditions"" that have or will ever exist. Jeez!"