107071

Joke of the Day

"I think my niece has a burgeoning slip 'n slide addiction Once you go down one, it's just a slippery slope."

"You're riding the crest of a slump?"

"""Ma'am, please stow your laptop prior to takeoff."" ""This is my Emotional Support Computer."""

"What do you call it when someone has sex in exchange for spaghetti? Pastatution"

"There's no 'i' in team... No, but there's a 'u' in cunt!"

"I'm terrible at directions Fuck me, left!"

"*pretty girl walks by and doesn't make eye contact* She must be intimidated that I manage a fantasy football team that is 8-1"

"My black friend was told he couldn't run in the boston marathon Bunch of racists."

"An apple a day keeps no one away unless you have meticulously good aim."

"A blind man walks into a bar... ... a table, and a chair."