45429

Joke of the Day

"I'm terrible at directions Fuck me, left!"

"Did you hear the one about the guy who got his left side cut off? He's all right now."

"HR: know why you're here? Me: I put my tongue in the candy cutter Union: well..unsafe..but fired? HR: the candy cutter's name is Trish"

"being in a club at my age feels more like i'm being set-up for an episode of ""To Catch a Predator"""

"What's worse than finding a dead monkey on your piano? Finding a diseased beaver on your organ."

"Before Twitter, I'd ignore dumb thoughts in my head like ""How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?"" Now, I tweet them"

"There are so many gay bars in San Francisco; It's hard to keep them all straight."

"Will we just know how to play the harp in heaven, or do we need to arrange lessons beforehand?"

"If I had a dollar for every gender there is... I'd have two dollars."

"Black humor never gets old ...just like african people"