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Joke of the Day
"An apple a day keeps no one away unless you have meticulously good aim."
Next Joke
"Girl, you don't even know how crazy I am about you.... I'm thinking about digging my mom up so she can meet you."
"My relationship is like 2 Girls 1 Cup It started off beautifully but got shitty real quick."
"What is a Jewish person's favorite nut? A cashew."
"A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says, ""We don't serve your kind in here!"" Mushroom says, ""Come on, I'm a fungi!"""
"A man asks his dog, ""what's your favorite part of the house?"" ""ROOF!"" Screams the dog. The man asks, ""what's your favorite part of trees?"" ""Chlorophyll,"" says the dog. The man kills himself."
"Did you hear about the kidnapping in Delaware? Don't worry, he eventually woke up."
"Q: Where do people who say ""shoot"" and ""darn"" go to? A: Heck"
"Hey @realDonaldTrump, try pressing the caps lock key... @realDonaldTrump: O THANKS!!! ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO WRITE NOW!!!!!!!"
"If you're going to go house hunting, try to blend in with your surroundings. Wear aluminum siding."