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Joke of the Day
"Why is it so hard to give up fizzy drinks? That shits like liquid Coke!"
Next Joke
"With American Airlines stock at 20 cents, I can't decide between paying for two checked bags or buying half the company."
"What did the cumulus cloud say to the stratus cloud? Why arent you precipitating? (a joke me and my buddy came up with while driving. and its scientifically correct. lol)"
"ME: want anything for breakfast? BOSS: just banana [struggling to hold office door shut] ANA: let me in! ME: sorry boss said to ban you"
"Horrible at making friends I was always horrible at making friends. Even when I was a kid, my imaginary friend would play with the kid across the street."
"I asked my North Korean friend how it was there. He said he couldn't complain."
"I Knew a One-Legged Girl I knew a one-legged girl who worked at a brewery She was in charge of the hops"
"""Welcome, teachers & parents, to our community school assembly"" *gestures to 237 IKEA boxes* ""Let's begin! Who's got the Allen wrench?"""
"What is white, 12 inches long, and not a fluorescent light bulb? Nothing."
"What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names"