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Joke of the Day

"I Knew a One-Legged Girl I knew a one-legged girl who worked at a brewery She was in charge of the hops"

"A pirate walks into a bar... With a steering wheel on his pants. The bartender says, ""hey what's with the steering wheel?"" and the pirate says, ""Arrgghhh.... it drives me nuts."""

"What do you do if you get a peanut stuck in your ear ? Pour in a little chocolate and it comes out a treat."

"Accidentally watched a few minutes of The Bachelor and now I can't remember a single state capitol."

"Two ads? IN A ROW? On this website that gives me access to all the music ever made? I won't stand for it"

"What do you call bears with no ears? b"

"How is Trump going to deport the Mexicans? Juan by Juan."

"If there's one thing children have taught me it's how to count down from 5 while pretending there's a huge consequence if I ever reach zero."

"So I went to my Hipster drug dealer last night... He gave me an instagram"

"Twitter - to help future generations discover if there's ever been any mental illness in the family."