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Joke of the Day
"By the time a man realises that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong."
Next Joke
"I've been eating sunflower seeds and Tweeting for 9 hours. Now I know what my canary feels like."
"What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice."
"What do you call oral sex with a paraplegic girl? Meals on wheels."
"I drink twice a year.... When it's my birthday, and when it isn't"
"(Utterly awful joke ahead) What do you call a scar left by the Swedish Chef? A borkmark."
"Why do men like football? Because the biggest priorities in football are also the biggest priorities in every man's life.... Scoring and Ball Security."
"Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter? A: It took Bill less than 100 days to botch a military mission."
"Coworker: Oh, look how beautiful! It's snowing again! Me: *stabs coworker with icicle*"
"My wife got home and was mad when she saw I fed my son cake, banana, popcorn and M&M's for dinner. I was like, ""You saw the banana, right?"""