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Joke of the Day

"Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Jimmy Carter? A: It took Bill less than 100 days to botch a military mission."

"Dem puns... Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine beans in Irish Bean Soup? Because if there be one moar, it'd be too farty!"

"A bear walks into a bar. He says to the bartender ""I'll have a gin...and tonic."" Bartender says ""OK, but why the pause?"" ""I was born with them."""

"I dislike the word ""kidnapping""... I prefer ""surprise adoption""."

"My relationship with my Ex was purely psychological... She was a psycho and I was totally logical."

"People who live in glass houses must have to clean up a lot of dead birds."

"Johnny Depp is the best actor ever. You can't even tell he has scissor hands in Pirates of the Caribbean."

"What's the difference between a 12 year old grill and a 12 year old girl? The grill doesn't cry when you use it to satisfy your meaty desires."

"What's brown and sticky? A stick. *I'm sorry I couldn't resist.*"

"A man goes to the bar And he asks the bar tender Man: ""What taste good? Tender: I usually like rum in Diet Coke. Man: how do you get a Roman in a Diet Coke? Tender: *facepalm*"