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Joke of the Day

"My wife got home and was mad when she saw I fed my son cake, banana, popcorn and M&M's for dinner. I was like, ""You saw the banana, right?"""

"What does a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce have in common? Either way, someone is losing a trailer."

"How many Happy Meals do you need to eat before they start to work? I've just had six and I feel terrible."

"My Aunt Rosie has sent me so many Candy Crush invites that I've legitimately stopped loving her"

"What happens if you steal in Afghanistan? You get Talibanned"

"I bet whenever a cow eats a lot of grass she says to her friends ""I've been eating like a cow!"" and they'd laugh and moo or whatever cows do"

"Did you ever get two pieces of shocking news at once? I just found out my sister was diagnosed with testicular cancer."

"What's the final product Steve Jobs released? The iDied"

"How do you find Will Smith in the Snow? I don't know. Just look for the Fresh prints! Ha ha. He's also black."

"Why is it illegal for a person living in Virginia to be buried in Texas? ...because they're still alive."