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Joke of the Day

"My wife just delivered twin boys and let me name them From her reaction, I'm guessing ""Pete"" and ""Repeat"" wasn't the best choice."

"A neutron walks into a bar and asks, ""how much for a beer?"" The bartender replies, ""For you, no charge."""

"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He flushed."

"You're so fat, they oughta call your dick ""Gary Oldman"" ...Cause it always disappears into a roll."

"Why is it hard to hold a speech at a nudist convention? It does not help to imagine people in their underwear."

"I'm not saying he ate the candy canes off the bottom of the Christmas tree I'm just saying my dog's breath was minty fresh this morning."

"What do you call your favorite 80's pop star floating dead in the harbor? David Buoy"

"Every time Guy Fieri forgets to call it ""Hotlanta"" Chester Cheetah magically appears to remove one flame from his shirt."

"I need a thingy to fix the thingy because the thingy came loose and the thingy is wiggly now. Do you sell those? -Me, at Home Depot"

"Why was 10 scared? ... because he was in the middle of 9-11! Better phrasing recommendations appreciated :-)"