49789

Joke of the Day

"You're so fat, they oughta call your dick ""Gary Oldman"" ...Cause it always disappears into a roll."

"While your honesty is refreshing, I am regretfully unable to accept your chat request, IWillDoYouAnally23."

"4yo: When you're 9, you can drive Me: Pretty sure you have to be older 4yo: Some people can drive at 9 Me: A little older 4yo: Ya, it's 9"

"I make my children listen to people like Pink Floyd and Bob Marley so they learn the difference between Chris Brown and music."

"Boss: ""you're fired"" Me: ""I guess we're just gonna have to agree to disagree"""

"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? The porcupine has the pricks on the outside. Credit to Top Gear."

"People who criticize the Bible should keep in mind it was My first novel."

"Knock Knock Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin'. they hatin'."

"Did you hear about the Egyptian boatman who refused to believe his craft was sinking? He was in denial"

"What's the difference between a 'hippo' and a 'Zippo'? One's really heavy, and the other's a little lighter. - [*Masai Graham*](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-34039927)"