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Joke of the Day
"Mommy, why am I getting my Christmas presents in august? ""Because it's cheaper than chemo"""
Next Joke
"Recently HP fucked up on my order of a Laserjet they've sent me a fucking printer instead!"
"Who is the best drummer in the Beatles? It's between George, John and Paul... We all know it isn't Ringo"
"What's the difference between a slice of toast and the French? You can make soldiers out of a slice of toast."
"How do you know your house had chicken pox? It has shingles."
"Studies find if a woman has a glass of wine a day increases the chances of a stroke. If you let her have more she might suck it too."
"*walks in on home intruder ""omg please don't look at the dust!"""
"Today, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it."
"What's a pirate's most favorite letter? [A letter of marque](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Letter_of_marque)."
"What's the difference between a nail and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang a painting."