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Joke of the Day

"What's a pirate's most favorite letter? [A letter of marque](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Letter_of_marque)."

"Odd that the silent way to alert performers they should quickly end their act is a gesture to slice your own throat."

"SUBWAY EMPLOYEE: would you like your receipt? ME: no thank you i don't want any proof that i've eaten here"

"Had to quit my job as an underwear model because the photographer kept telling me, ""I'm just a cashier"" and that I ""need to leave Macy's."""

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no idea. What do you call a deer with no eyes no legs and no dick? Still no fucking idea"

"People are far too distrustful of chickens. They can't even cross the road without having their motives questioned."

"Did you hear about the tight end who went to prison? He came out a wide receiver"

"I heard apple was going straight to the iPhone 7 I guess it won't be very 6s-ful"

"[SPOILER] Ending of Civil War. Lincoln gets killed at the end."

"""HEY, WHERE'S THAT BOOK?!"" (Dewey Decibel System)"