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Joke of the Day

"How do you know your house had chicken pox? It has shingles."

"What did the frustrated cannibal say? Nothing he just threw up his hands."

"Helpful Tip.. If you are ever cold just stand in a corner... There normally 90 degrees.."

"Have you heard about the late great actor? ""Wow, he's dead?"" *Actor strolls in* Nope, just never on time."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alceste ! Alceste who ? Alceste to meet him later !"

"REMEMBER: If you mention another race, you're racist."

"What is the best way for a pet shop to get business? Word of mouse."

"Today I forgot to comb my hair, but people thought I was nice. Then, nothing of consequence happened. So today was every Michael Cera movie."

"Why do Jewish men have to be circumcised? Because a Jewish women wont touch anything unless it's 20% off."

"My Dad's Motto My dad always lived by the motto ""work hard, play hard."" Until mum made him seek help for his Viagra addiction."