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Joke of the Day

"Today, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it."

"A man walks into a cafe... splash!"

"My car's GPS has learned to say ""Your other left."""

"Our gold fish jumped out of his tank and the dog ate it.....I feel like there is a life lesson here but don't know what it is."

"I finally found a diet plan that works. It's called ""The cost of food""."

"He slapped his two inches on the doctors desk. The doctor said ""What is wrong with it?"" ""It's swollen."""

"What does the US Government use to spy on a high school student? An essay."

"I no longer see my wife and kids because of gambling. I won a shitload of money and moved to Spain."

"My favorite part of grocery shopping is rushing home to look at the shopping list on my counter to see what I forgot to buy."

"WIFE: you didn't use my shampoo again did you? ME: *shakes my head no but my lustrous hair gives me away*"