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Joke of the Day

"It's goofy when people pretend to zip their mouth closed to indicate keeping a secret. ""Your secret is well guarded... behind a zipper"""

"Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants."

"I could never be an actress because I don't want kids and would never be able to say ""but my favorite role is being a mom"" at award shows."

"I like my slaves how I like my coffee Free"

"What kind of overalls does Mario wear? Denim Denim Denim"

"When the circus came to town they ran a competition to find the best contortionist.. ..so I entered myself and won"

"Muhammad Ali was apparently bad in bed, says his widow. Then again, he was a fighter, not a lover."

"Why did the Mexican jump the border? To get back to Mexico"

"What does a German call a party without Sausage and Cheese? A Wurst-Kase Scenario"

"How do you treat Mrs. Potato Head when she has cancer? Ampu-tater"