107873

Joke of the Day

"I could never be an actress because I don't want kids and would never be able to say ""but my favorite role is being a mom"" at award shows."

"Who's that one armed rockstar drummer? Oh yeah, Phil Rudd. Too soon?"

"Scrabble, it's all fun and games until someone loses an I."

"What happened to the tyrannical fruit? He was impeached!"

"Mosquitoes use a numbing agent so we feel no pain from their bites. This is one easy way to tell if you were bitten by a mosquito or a shark"

"Did you hear the one about the German sausage? It was the wurst!"

"If you watch Intervention backwards, it's about a person partying hard after an awful family reunion."

"* charges phone. Phone: wrong hole."

"Use conditioner... Shampoo burns (;"

"*Holds an old lady's hand as I help her across the street* don't worry ma'am i'm sure the doctors can sew it back on"