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Joke of the Day

"How does a feminist screw in a light bulb? She holds the bulb up to the socket and then expects the world to revolve around her."

"What has no legs but stands firm?? My dick"

"I'm a lot like Jesus because I like wine and I tell people what to do."

"Experience is a cruel teacher. It gives a test before presenting the lesson."

"Dad please dont mess my hair up and say love ya' in public, I'm in a gang now"

"I'm not saying I want a divorce, it's just that sometimes 50% custody sounds pretty appealing."

"If cocaine were an old cranky man... He'd say ""blow me""!"

"Monks teach peace and harmony, but they sure do seem to like resistance.. Ohmmmmmm."

"What time do werewolf Cowboys have a shootout? High Moon!"

"Then there was the guy who fell into a vat of molten optical glass after drinking too much. Just two glasses, and look what a spectacle he made of himself."