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Joke of the Day

"Monks teach peace and harmony, but they sure do seem to like resistance.. Ohmmmmmm."

"Do you know how many 3rd party sects the catholic church is protecting? None, catholics aren't allowed to have protected sects."

"Dora, with all the questions she poses to her audience, is breeding a generation that will scream loudly at the characters in scary movies."

"The only thing keeping me from cutting eye holes in a newspaper to spy on people in the coffee shop is my constant lack of scissors."

"Why did the man hire a Mexican gardener? Because he was good at pulling weed"

"What do you call a squadron of baby soldiers? Infantry."

"In his quest to become a brain surgeon, Charlie the otter couldn't afford to live at the University of aquatic mammals. He was forced to take online courses from the Hippo-Campus."

"What do you call a masterbating cow? Beef stroganoff"

"Did the math. Facebook is worth $100 billion and with 800 million users that puts the value of a life at $12.50. Never pay a hitman more."

"What's green and furry and smells like pig? Kermit the Frog's finger"