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Joke of the Day

"I'm a lot like Jesus because I like wine and I tell people what to do."

"What do you call two mexican firefighters? Hose A and Hose B."

"I wish todays youth had to endure the humiliation of having your dad pick up the landline phone and start dialing while you're talking on it"

"I'm at the age where an ""all-nighter"" means I didn't have to get up to pee"

"I've always wanted to be a comedian... But I have a tremendous fear of being laughed at."

"I've always wanted to improve my knowledge of Greek Mythology.... It's been my achilles elbow for quite some time."

"What goes ""Hahahahaha...*thud*""? Someone laughing their head off"

"The people who think Obamacare is failing thought George W. Bush was succeeding."

"An apostrophe walks into a'bar."

"I don't hate you, but if you we're drowning, I would dive in and handcuff a piano to your neck."