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Joke of the Day
"What's the song that coldplay wrote for you? Yellow. *Phil answers phone*"
Next Joke
"So, Joan Rivers just died, and... ... she's scheduled for more plastic surgery next week."
"What do you call cheese that's not yours? NACHO CHEESE!"
"What's the difference between a Philosophy major and a cashier at KFC? A job application."
"If Gandalf was a women, what color would her robes be? Red."
"How do you spell that? t-h-a-t"
"NSFW Passionately our lips met... Then she closed her legs and broke my glasses."
"I don't know why I broke up with my girl at the gym... I guess we just weren't working out."
"Almost had an accident due to texting while driving Barely hit send and some idiot slammed on his brakes! Luckily I only spilled my beer"
"I'm not lazy, I'm just highly motivated not to do anything.."