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Joke of the Day
"What's the song that coldplay wrote for you? Yellow. *Phil answers phone*"
Next Joke
"What medical specialty will start to experience large fluctuations in income from payers? Eurology"
"Why people hate Billy Mays jokes because they're corny."
"I'm so sick and tired of my friends who can't handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me 3x while carrying me to the car!"
"Seafaring language makes me uncomfortable, so no, I would not like a chips ahoy cookie or any other maritime treats, thank you."
"40% of Americans over 60 believe... ... that they were at Woodstock."
"Why are all Quaker truck drivers stuck in the 1980's? Q:Why are all Quaker truck drivers stuck in the 1980's? A: Because they are Haulin' Oats!"
"When I'm out with my kids and I see an x-boyfriend I like to scare him by saying ""Don't make eye contact with daddy."""
"How did pinocchio find out that he was made out of wood? His hand caught fire."
"Orange Jews. It's very hacidic."