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Joke of the Day

"What medical specialty will start to experience large fluctuations in income from payers? Eurology"

"If someone doesn't text u back it's certainly bc whatever u texted them was so stupid that it destroyed whatever relationship u may have had"

"Telling a woman she's being unreasonable is like juggling lit torches while waist deep in gun powder."

"Katy Perry is what happens when an emoji comes to life."

"The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain."

"Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calendar? They each got six months"

"I can't see how this day could get any worse. First, my baby cousin went missing... And now my pet snake has a huge tumor"

"5: Mommy said I'm a big boy and can't sleep in her bed anymore Me [sleeping on couch] she's right son"

"Girls always think i'm ugly until they look into my wallet then they think i'm ugly and poor"

"A lot of people ask me ""why do you lie about the high number of people asking you things?"""