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Joke of the Day

"Why people hate Billy Mays jokes because they're corny."

"Never trust Atoms They make up everything"

"I would love to buy a Harley Davidson motorcycle... But I can't afford all the shirts."

"Let me be clear, I don't want to die alone. However I want to be left completely alone until that moment."

"""Jessica wasn't usually dead. So when we found her dead we immediately knew something was wrong."" -Investigation Discovery"

"My son is suspended? Yes, in-school suspension. So he goes to school? Yes, but he's suspended. Suspended IN THE SCHOOL? Yes. Idiot."

"A little boy came running into the kitchen. 'Dad dad' he said 'there's a monster at the door with a really ugly face' 'Tell him you've already got one' said his father !"

"Why does a cow have hooves but not feet? Cause they lactose."

"My oldest son & his gf were cooking & asked me how many 1/4 cups are in 1 cup .... Gonna write a nasty letter 2 college & ask for a refund"

"You know what the difference between an SUV and a rental car is? You can take a rental car *anywhere*."