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Joke of the Day

"I'm holding a charity night for people that can't reach orgasm. If you can't come let me know."

"When someone tell me , ""long time no see"" i usually reply, ""I know, we're really not that good of friends"""

"If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it."

"If it ever becomes illegal to wear a veil to work .... beekeepers will be furious."

"The best part of having a beard is that it covers up like 40% of my terrible face"

"How to capture an elephant step 1 dig a hole. step 2 fill the hole with ash. step 3 surround it with peas. step 4 when the elephant comes to take a pea, you kick it in the ash hole!"

"Why don't lesbians cook? They rather eat out."

"The difference between a girl in church and a girl in the bathtub? one has hope in her soul."

"Did you hear about the assassin who was given forty years to complete his assignment? He had some time to kill."

"Why aren't jokes in base eight funny? Because 7, 10, 11!"