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Joke of the Day

"Adele broke my headphones it always says hello from one side (joke stolen)"

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"You know what is going on in Ukraine? Donetsk, don't tell."
"Sir, your frog is illegally parked, move it imediately or it will be toad."
"Knock Knock. Christmas. Who's there? Oops, looks like Christmas came early this year."
"IT:have you deleted your cookies? Me:yea the chocolate ones. There may be some raisin ones left IT:is there somebody else I could talk to?"
"Chess with Australians must get so confusing. ""Check, mate."" ""Naw mate, that's just a check."" ""That's what I said. Check, mate"""
"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None."
"You know what the best part about having sex with twenty three year olds is? There are twenty of them."
"I like my women like I like my movies. Silent and in the 20s."
"I'm so lonely I bought a plane ticket just for the airport pat down."