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Joke of the Day

"Content is king. But timing is everything. Then again... location, location, location. You should probably just do everything perfectly."

"Me: *stumbles in front of boss at work* Boss: haha have a nice trip, see you in the fall Me: *takes 8 month vacation*"

"My home pregnancy test came back negative. I guess my house is just getting fat."

"My only talent is sleeping I could do it with my eyes closed."

"How many refs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They only screw playoff games"

"Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, ""Bang!"""

"I like my women like I like my ice cream, Rich, creamy, and in my freezer."

"My favorite porn website changed their header to include a breast cancer awareness ribbon, so you could say I'm somewhat of an activist."

"Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them ? Stan: In the bathroom Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath ? Stan: Blindfold them !"

"asbestos huh? if what i'm hearing is true they shoudl call it asworstos ."