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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do you call a credit union volunteer in a room full of bank directors? A: A superior being."

"A guy walks into a psychiatrist wearing saran wrap pants He says ""Doctor, I think I'm crazy"" The doctor says, ""Well I can clearly see your nuts"""

"Me: Why don't I have a boyfriend? God: I sent you one, you dumped him for putting ketchup on his steak. Me: Ah. That's right. Gross."

"A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket.. And says ""Some asshole's got my pen!"""

"""Welcome to 9-1-1, Florida. If you're calling about a matter related to George Zimmerman, please press 2. Otherwise, stay on the line..."""

"Which of the seven dwarfs use the Internet? Happ-e Sleep-e Grump-e Dope-e and Sneez-e."

"Obama is an obamanation. That is all."

"They say ""dress for the job you want,"" but this space suit chafes and I'm not convinced that Arby's is truly committed to a space program."

"Why does Donald Trump hate Casper the ghost? Because he can go through walls."

"I told this cashier she kinda looked like Lorde, and as I was walking out, heard the lady behind me assure her she did not look like Jesus."