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Joke of the Day
"What do they do for the 4th of July in England? Sulk."
Next Joke
"I'm so stoned........ It took me three tries to turn out the bathroom light. Turns out the toilet flush handle does not control the lights."
"Why was the lions stomach enormous? Because he finally swallowed his pride"
"Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin? Because his life is at stake."
"Read out loud for full affect * ""Knock knock"" * ""Who's there"" * ""I eat mop"" * ""I eat mop who"" * *que laughter Gets em every time"
"Dear student loan, Thank you for saving my life. I can't think of how I can ever repay you."
"You know what's sad? 3 of my team members dying of drinking poison and the last dying of a fractured neck because he didn't drink the poison"
"Doctor gets a call...My husband just swallowed aspirin By mistake, what should I do? Doctor: give him some headache now! It will help!"
"I don't understand how a priest can be out of shape... They're always exorcising."
"Me: Can I have a Batmobile? Santa: Be realistic. Me: Ok, pass my Masters & get a good job? Santa: I'll leave the Batmobile in the garage."