202065

Joke of the Day

"I don't understand how a priest can be out of shape... They're always exorcising."

"I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I'm a drunk, we go to parties."

"A driver was so focused on being upset I was texting while driving... They rear ended the car ahead of them. I guess texting while driving is distracting."

"Talking about school grades with your parents like... Parents: Got any A's this semester? Me: Go fish."

"I told my doctor I was addicted to Twitter He said ""I don't follow you"""

"What do you call an honest man in the Oval Office? Lost"

"I have a step ladder its a nice ladder, but I wish I knew my real ladder."

"Why are a lot of Italians named Tony? Because as they got on the boat to leave Italy, they were stamped on the head, ""TO NY""."

"I wish there was some way to get rid of the stupid apple in this caramel apple."

"Why do you have to pee so quickly after you start drinking beer? Because it doesn't have to stop off to change color!"