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Joke of the Day
"Do you even Choo Choo? Because you are a ""Damn Girl"" Karma train"
Next Joke
"Why does Snoop Dog carry around an umbrella? Fo' drizzle."
"What is Donald Trump telling Independents? Orange is the new black."
"[At bar] Me: As a joke, I'm gonna pee my pants Wife: Seriously? You're a married man now M: Right...sorry. I'm gonna pee ""our"" pants #BT140"
"Interviewer: ""What's your greatest strength?"" *45 minutes later* Me: ""I'm very comfortable with silence."""
"I keep making jokes about SpaceX But none of them seem to land."
"A bad metaphor is like a cucumber with a parachute."
"George W Bush kept us safe just like how abstinence education kept Bristol Palin unpregnant."
"What do you call a horse that's thinking of home? Mentally in-stable."
"My mate just phoned me to tell me he had changed his name by deed poll to spinal column. ""Can I call you back?"" I asked."