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Joke of the Day
"A bad metaphor is like a cucumber with a parachute."
Next Joke
"I tried writing some jokes on Weed But I was too high to remember to write them down"
"If your opponent cracks his knuckles before a fight, have comfort knowing that osteoarthritis will, in due time, avenge your savage beating."
"How embarrassing! I tripped and fell out of my clothes."
"Men You know how they say ""why buy the cow if you get the milk for free?"" Well I say, ""why buy the whole pig for a little sausage..."""
"I want to believe in hope as much as someone who thinks that somebody might buy their old used shoes on Craigslist for $20."
"If Carly Fiorina really wants to destroy Planned Parenthood, she should become its CEO <badumpa>"
"if the plan is ""eat pancakes now figure out life later"" then yes everything is going according to plan"
"A CRAZY PERSON IN THE WOODS Q: How does a crazy person travel through the woods? A: They take the psychopath."
"Oh you graduated from DeVry too?! Which month were you?"