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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: ""What's your greatest strength?"" *45 minutes later* Me: ""I'm very comfortable with silence."""

"Columbus: SO THIS IS INDIA Natives: actually it's no- C: HI INDIANS N: no see, we are nowhere near- C: INDIA IS FUN LETS EAT YOUR FOOD"

"""Hey mom, where could I buy some paperclips?"" ""Staples?"" ""No....Paperclips."""

"What's the difference between Tom Brady and Ben Roethlisberger? Tom wants his balls illegally deflated on the field and Ben wants that off the field."

"an Irishman, Englishman an Scotsman walk into a bar The bartender says, ""Is this a joke"""

"I have emotional constipation I haven't given a shit in years!"

"Unicorns have the best poker faces."

"What did they call the sad little fish poop with no father? A bass turd."

"Why couldn't the taxidermist finish anything he started? Because he kept getting side tracked by pet projects"

"What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's sexual orientation? Bicepsual."