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Joke of the Day

"I keep making jokes about SpaceX But none of them seem to land."

"*interview* So, why do you want to be a judge? *Imagines myself going work everyday in my robe* ""To fight crime"""

"Doctor: ""The CAT scan results are in and they have confirmed my suspicions."" Me: ""Okay, I'm ready."" Doctor: ""You're not a cat."""

"What do you call a running gag on crutches? A lame joke."

"Why don't baseball players get much action? Because they have foul balls."

"Why shouldn't you sleep with a weatherman? They'll promise 12 to 14 inches, but you'll only get 3 to 5."

"What did the princess say when she got to the ball? garglgarglgarglgarglgargl"

"Playing doctors and nurses with the wife in the bedroom last night didn't go very well. Especially when I diagnosed her as clinically obese."

"I heard that ' Call of Duty' has a different name in the Middle East. They call it ""The Sims""."

"Why was the couch afraid of the chair? The chair was armed."