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Joke of the Day

"[At bar] Me: As a joke, I'm gonna pee my pants Wife: Seriously? You're a married man now M: Right...sorry. I'm gonna pee ""our"" pants #BT140"

"[Infomercial] HOST: Wanna learn how to lose up to 15 pounds with one simple trick?!? AUDIENCE: Yes! HOST: Here's how! *rips off his own arm*"

"What do you call a pile of kittens? a meowtain!"

"Breaking News... The inventor of the Anagram has died...may he ""erect a penis""...."

"I play the triangle in a reggae band... ... I stand at the back and ting"

"memes http://imgur.com/qe7LBx5 there"

"what do you call the study of color? cyance"

"Sometimes I dance on my bed half naked & sing into my hairbrush.... and other days... I take my medication."

"I love to play with my balls. I've been trying to meet a woman with the same hobby."

"Jewish kid asks his Grandpa for money Grandson: Hey Grandpa, can I have 30 dollars? Jewish Grandpa: 20 dollars?? What do you need 10 dollars for?!"