104835

Joke of the Day

"I set my GPS voice to Mom, and now when I miss a turn, it says ""Your sister wouldn't have missed that."""

"Last week I went golfing and finally beat my wife... Those are two separate things."

"Have you tried the new, ultra-realistic vibrator? ""No, how does it work?"" ""Right before you climax it comes, goes limp, farts, and turns itself off."""

"What did Clinton say when accused of copying his homework from his girlfriend at Oxford? I did not have textual relations with that woman."

"A man told little Johnny ""I'll give you a piece of candy if you come in my van?"" Little Johnny replied ""I'll cum on your face for the entire bag!"""

"Where do Chinese babies come from? Vachina"

"[at a wedding] ""So, ya come here often?"""

"Sodomy? SodoYOU. JK, please sodomy."

"I went to the doctor. I went to the doctor with a stomach ache and I left with cancer! I was mad as hell!"

"There are two kinds of people in the world... Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data."