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Joke of the Day

"There are two kinds of people in the world... Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data."

"Honey I Shrunk the Kids And I Shrunk Some Water Skis And Now This Little Squirrel Is Skiing In Our Pool And Its Rad You Gotta See This Babe"

"The iPhone 6 Plus sold very well. It was a huge 6s!"

"Daughter: Dad, you need a smart phone. Me: Will it make my dinner? D: No but- M: Good talk."

"Have you ever tried to eat a clock? I heard it's very time consuming."

"If I had a dollar for every time I was wrong, I'd be incredibly broke."

"How do you stop bacon from curling in the pan? Take away their tiny brooms!"

"What do you call a cross between an elephant and a rhino? 'Ell if i know."

"What would our founding fathers say if they saw the white house today? What the hell are Jefferson's kids doing in the white house?"

"My girlfriend hates it when I sneak up on her. Also the police say I should stop referring to her as my girlfriend."