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Joke of the Day

"Joke of the Day 6/11/14 A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, ""Sorry, we don't serve food in here."""

"""911, what's your emergency?"" Hi i need to report a kidnapping. My son is taking a nap in my room right now."

"Two Scottish cows in a field, what one is on holiday? The one with the wee calf."

"My childhood joke Teacher: Why are you late? Student: Because of the sign on the road. Teacher: What type of sign? Student: The sign that says, ""School Ahead, Go Slow.""!"

"Did you hear about Elon Musk's X in Virginia? They had a firey start, then a major break up."

"Drake the type of dude who eat two gummy bears at the same time so they don't die alone."

"Why do black people only have nightmares? Because we killed the one who had a dream. Happy MLK day"

"Statistics show that one out of three of your next door neighbors could be a child molester... Thank goodness the only neighbors I have are smokin' hot ten year olds."

"I can't trust my heart or my brain to tell me who the next President will be But I can trust my Vegas bookie and will be talking to him in October"

"Was going to tell my wife a joke about quantum theory... ...but I didn't want to Bohr here"