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Joke of the Day

"Happy Columbus Day! Celebrate by going to the wrong house after work then claiming it as your own."

"It is so cold outside that I saw a politician with his hands in his own pocket"

"When life hands you lemons make sure those lemons aren't evidence in a murder that life's trying to frame you for."

"I think the best thing about being a house wife is that you would get to be married to a house!"

"If you walk into a room that's empty except for a clown doll sitting in a chair at a tiny table, you're probably about to be murdered."

"*accidentally walks into women's restroom* *plays it cool* *sits down* *finds comfort here* *changes name to Janice* *is alive* *is free*"

"If you don't use a bottle opener to open your beer, you drink shitty beer."

"*bumps into an acquaintance in a world where there's no such thing as weather* Uhhhhhhhhhhh"

"Just back from my first rap battle. Complete disaster. I thought it was a nap battle and when the other guy saw my pajamas I was doomed."

"I have an internet porn addiction. i really should beat it..."