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Joke of the Day
"Was going to tell my wife a joke about quantum theory... ...but I didn't want to Bohr here"
Next Joke
"Why aren't any atheists buying a PS4 Pro? They don't believe in higher power."
"Wife: Did you get eggs? Me: pew pew Wife: Great lasers, so did you? Me: pew pew pew pew pee Wife: Why me god. Me: *barrel roll* pew pew"
"What is a pirate's favorite letter? When the person answers ""R"" you say ""You'd think that but me first love be the C."""
"A new study finds that sausages are often linked to other sausages"
"Hard work pays off in in the future Laziness pays off now"
"""Do you know why I pulled you over?"" ""You thought I'd like your pretty lights?"" ""Recite the alphabet backwards"" ""I can't even do that sober"""
"What's E.T. short for? Because he's only got little legs."
"I dont make typos. I make new words."
"Knock knock. Who's there? Irish Jew, Amalie. Amalie who? Irish Jew Amalie-Christmas "