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Joke of the Day

"Two Scottish cows in a field, what one is on holiday? The one with the wee calf."

"When was pasta introduced to the Middle East? when someone fed a genie alfredo"

"What does a pound, a dollar and rumble have in common? For a dollar you can get a pound of rubles."

"Of course climate change is man-made. It's all been meticulously orchestrated by the Titanic survivors, seeking revenge on that iceberg."

"Last week I tried talking to a politician about rape laws... She couldn't see where I was coming from."

"How do you make a guitar player's car more aerodynamic? Take off the pizza delivery sign."

"Why didn't we learn about essential oils in school? I mean, that shit is ESSENTIAL. Should've been the first lesson!"

"What do you call a smug criminal going downstairs? A condescending con descending"

"My girlfriend was sucking my dick...... My girlfriend was sucking my dick when she took it out of her mouth and said ""I don't really like the way dicks look."" I said ""Hmmm, it must be about taste"""

"How many SJWs does it take to screw in a light bulb? THAT'S *NOT* FUNNY!"